catch up: fip and rewrites

the first weekend on fire island was rather nice . . . albeit not as mythical as last year’s when cupid took an axe to my head and sliced it open.  it was rather strange getting on that ferry.  it was like proust and the madeleine.  the entire affair of summer 2007 came rushing back to me in glorious detail.  i felt wistful in a way.  i kept seeing him out there in bits and pieces–someone wore shorts like his, sunglasses like his, someone looked like him.  a friend told me he was not out last weekend, so i knew i was interacting with phantom images my brain kept flashing before me.

the weekend was fun, but much more low key.  lots of napping.  i did a little yoga, a lot of laying out on the beach, a little rewriting (not enough as i am rushing to finish now), a lot of dancing and a couple of trips to mexico *inside joke* 

returning suntanned and rested, i was thrust back into the craziness that is my life these days.  i don’t know how i manage.  work has been crazy.  i am rewriting the october crisis frantically.  i am trying to work out and squeeze in yoga and somehow deal with all my personal obligations.  i find myself getting snappy and irritated.  it’s really hard for me not to.  i feel like the more stressed i get, the more i have to work against my natural tendency to be nasty when stressed out.  being pleasant and diplomatic feel like a lot of work.  my skin gets thinner and i find myself annoyed by just a whole lot of everything (if you know me and i’m a bitch to you, i am sorry.  i am really working as hard as i can not to be).

the play’s shaping up beautifully.  it still frustrates me some.  but i think it’s getting there.  more later.

~ by Alejandro Morales on May 29, 2008.