i am astrologically f*cked

thanks rob brezney:

my sun sign:

the iliad is an ancient greek epic poem that describes events near the end of the trojan war. most modern critics regard it as a foundation stone of western literature. in my opinion, though, it’s mostly just a gruesome tale of macho haters who are inflamed with pride, treat women like property, and can’t stop killing each other. i share the perspective of poet diane di prima, who once had a dream in which the iliad was cast as gangsta rap. now please adopt the style of our critique for use in your own life, aquarius. what supposedly noble or important situation is actually pretty trivial or cliched? it’s time for you to tell the truth about the hype.

my rising sign:

at the farmer’s market, an escape artist performed in the middle of the street. as a crowd gawked, he had two big strong men tie him up tight in a straitjacket and 50 feet of chain. for the next 20 minutes he shimmied and contorted and bent over backwards. his face grew red and sweaty. there were no houdini-like magic tricks. there were no puffs of smoke or magic boxes or mirrors or distracting assistants. he rarely spoke as the ordeal progressed, but in the end, after the last of the chains slipped off and he wrestled his way out of the straitjacket, he said simply, “now i invite all of you to go home and use what i just did as a metaphor for your life.” it was a supremely sexy performance, and i realized maybe it would help you with your current situation.

wtf am i supposed to do with this?

(still feeling a bit sore about a drunken conversation i had last night)

~ by Alejandro Morales on July 8, 2009.